What are you bringing to the table?

A few weeks ago while having a bowl of homemade soup for lunch one of my co-workers peeked over my desk to what was brewing. I was astounded to hear what she had to say and I quote “ That's why you are so feisty, especially with women because you can cook”. I must admit in this case that I am not one of the traditional men who believes that a woman's place is in the home, that's not how my mom raised me. As such, I can help myself around the house, whether it is cooking, cleaning, washing, or ironing, I can do it, because my mom taught me well. So about my coworker’s statement, a few things about relationships made sense to me. My coworker believes that due to my ability to help myself around the house, I have a problem settling because a woman would have to bring much more to the table than just being a traditional woman who takes care of the home. So the question arises, what can a man/woman offer when dating a non-traditional person?

A traditional person can be described as someone who believes that the man is the sole breadwinner or that the woman should stay home; wash, clean, and cook. On the other hand, A non-traditional person is someone we see as independent; a man who needs more from a woman than doing household chores or a woman who needs more than money from the man in her life. The more non-traditional women are the so-called independent women who claim to have it all together. So how can we approach these people who are living their best lives, how can we make ourselves relevant to a person who seems to be just fine?

Poll - Are you Interested in a traditional or a non traditional partner?

I have compiled a list of the top three things a non-traditional person values most in their relationships. These are as follows:

Being supportive
Being respectful
Being stable / Having stability

Being supportive is more than just agreeing to everything thrown at you by your partner. Support comes in different forms, sometimes emotional and sometimes financial, but the most powerful support is companionship. It is that feeling of having someone in your corner; someone who understands you and will help you be a better person overall that will make you fall head over heels.

Next in line is respect. Respect is by no means of lesser value than having support and it's no greater than stability. All three of these things are intertwined to make a great relationship. Respect stems from honesty and loyalty. Someone honest and loyal in the low moments will always get overwhelming support.

Lastly, stability. Having someone stable in your life can make a huge difference.  An intelligent, goal-oriented person who provides a sense of security is always ideal when approaching someone non-traditional. Being intelligent and goal-oriented, a non-traditional person tends to find that very attractive because they see you on equal terms; someone who can hold a conversation and provides more than just their presence. A sense of security means that person needs to know themselves and to know where they are going in life. They need to have an outlined plan as to how they will maintain themselves in the future.

So think about it and be mindful of the persons you decide to approach. Both men and women get turned down for various reasons and it hurts when you don’t understand your target. Ensure you are interested before you try to pique the interest of a non-traditional person. And once you get in, be sure to find that balance because it’s just beginning. As such, remember to be respectful, and offer stability and support.