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Just the other day I came across an interesting video where the speaker said that within the first seconds of meeting a man, a woman knows if she will lay with him. With us men the situation is a little different, they call us dogs for a reason, we are visual creatures. The moment a man makes an approach you have already been deemed sexable and if you are lucky wifeable. A lot of men make the approach sex on their minds, so the female has ten seconds to show she is wifeable, and don’t get me wrong the opposite is quite possible. Men are sexual beings, we have sex to fall in love, women love to have sex and this has been the underlying issue in most relationships throughout the years. So, are you sexable or wifeable? It is hilarious how many of you may be thinking “wifey” and doing a happy dance in your mind. I don’t mean to burst your bubble but you got work to do. Haven’t you found it weird that the so-called gyalist always find themselves married to the so-called ugly girl? That is because in the long run, every man realizes that there is more to a woman than a pretty face. He was looking for something that he found in her. Don’t fall for “I don’t know what I am looking for”. What we are looking for you don’t have it or else we wouldn’t be looking. A man knows when he has found what he is looking for, his home boys know, the world knows. A man brags about a woman he sees a future with. Are you living the trophy life or are you the trophy wife? Who knows! That's for you to decide. So what makes a woman sexable or wifeable? The very same things. There are various things that I could outline but I have compiled a short list of what stands out most when deciding if a woman will make the transition. In my opinion, the most important things are attitude, dress code, and being conversation-ready. These three things can make a major difference in how a man views a woman as a prospective long-term partner.A woman's attitude can speak to her personality and how she is. As I stated before, men are visual creatures and have already decided that you're sexable so he approaches. In that first 10 seconds, he decides the type of girl you are and just how intrigued he will be. I am not going to lie, we love a fiery attitude but it should be humble. Not a loud and ratchet, that behavior will always be remembered and not in a good way. First impressions last. Smile a little, make eye contact, and say hi. Don’t behave like your crap and make a patty and if it can, keep it to yourself. No need to eye someone from head to toe in disgust and then ignore. Simply say that you aren’t looking for company. It can’t be that hard.<figure id="figure-iutqpztfdwm154aov3"><img id="iutqpztfdwm154aov3" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/28Sxn85CT2YYqRhx5rewyIUeUuxyanFnValnsid3eI7CI2SPR7YsF5nRZGjhs49i.jpg" alt="Cookie Lyon from Empire showing Attitude" title="Cookie Lyon from Empire showing Attitude" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/28Sxn85CT2YYqRhx5rewyIUeUuxyanFnValnsid3eI7CI2SPR7YsF5nRZGjhs49i.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The same goes for the dress code. Men are very observant and will eye you from head to toe. How you dress and carry yourself will always determine how a man approaches you. A well-dressed woman will be approached with way more respect than a skimpy-dressed woman. Skimpy dressing and ratchet behavior only lead to one thing, sexable! Yes, the saying goes that men will look at anything once it has a kitty. That may be true, but some of these so-called dogs have been trained into respectable men. It’s not that we can’t be trained, but a man has to choose his trainer. A woman can’t change a man, the man must want to change. And a man only changes for someone that he needs. Someone who makes him better in every way.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-92117n64fjm154dk8d"><img id="92117n64fjm154dk8d" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/62yhgehZUoVZs0NvRtTxtEwyipddq3OH0oBKZD4vtVKX7ipJHi11tHBg3zwuwl17.jpg" alt="Skimply dressed beautiful black woman" title="Skimply dressed beautiful black woman" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>I also noticed an increasing trend in women, there is a lack of the ability to converse. Being conversation-ready is very high on the list of differentiating between sexable and wifeable. Have you ever sat with someone for 10 minutes (well in your mind) but hours passed and it didn’t feel like wasted time? That is conversation-ready, someone who can stimulate your mind, someone who knows about other things, than the latest party scene, someone who is interested in knowledge and knows about more than just herself, someone with a vision, a clear path to where they want to go. Men find that to be very attractive and it could be a game changer for women who want to be more than the “girlfriend”.<figure id="figure-w76plpocvm154j24x"><img id="w76plpocvm154j24x" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/12JeyOXtn9myEEqJHsKXSU3MuGr63fRhFilfsUExeD7usIOv9Wv8sbWe7k3Zk3Hm.jpg" alt="Horrible conversation ended with K response" title="Horrible conversation ended with K response" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/12JeyOXtn9myEEqJHsKXSU3MuGr63fRhFilfsUExeD7usIOv9Wv8sbWe7k3Zk3Hm.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure> If someone tells you your attitude stinks or asks why you dress like that and only has one-minute conversations with you, the regular hi and bye. That’s because you aren’t showcasing wifeable characteristics. Now you know why you didn’t get that text or call for another date, even though you gave him a piece of the cookie. Cut the attitude, dress modestly, and try talking about stimulating things, It doesn’t have to be sexual, because if that's all you are bring to the table that's all you will receive. Make the transition today, ladies make yourselves wifeable but don’t forget that as a wife you need to be sexable too. Find that common ground and you will have a man eating out the palm of your hand.

Sexable vs Wifeable

A few weeks ago while having a bowl of homemade soup for lunch one of my co-workers peeked over my desk to what was brewing. I was astounded to hear what she had to say and I quote “ That's why you are so feisty, especially with women because you can cook”. I must admit in this case that I am not one of the traditional men who believes that a woman's place is in the home, that's not how my mom raised me. As such, I can help myself around the house, whether it is cooking, cleaning, washing, or ironing, I can do it, because my mom taught me well. So about my coworker’s statement, a few things about relationships made sense to me. My coworker believes that due to my ability to help myself around the house, I have a problem settling because a woman would have to bring much more to the table than just being a traditional woman who takes care of the home. So the question arises, what can a man/woman offer when dating a non-traditional person? A traditional person can be described as someone who believes that the man is the sole breadwinner or that the woman should stay home; wash, clean, and cook. On the other hand, A non-traditional person is someone we see as independent; a man who needs more from a woman than doing household chores or a woman who needs more than money from the man in her life. The more non-traditional women are the so-called independent women who claim to have it all together. So how can we approach these people who are living their best lives, how can we make ourselves relevant to a person who seems to be just fine?<a href="<script>(function(t,e,s,o){var n,c,l;t.SMCX=t.SMCX||[],e.getElementById(o)||(n=e.getElementsByTagName(s),c=n[n.length-1],l=e.createElement(s),l.type=&quot;text/javascript&quot;,l.async=!0,l.id=o,l.src=&quot;https:/widget.surveymonkey.com/collect/website/js/tRaiETqnLgj758hTBazgd2pEuw6LlDDON80YkLLzdEzYOobJsNoF_2FSYIuEeHIIXG.js&quot;,c.parentNode.insertBefore(l,c))})(window,document,&quot;script&quot;,&quot;smcx-sdk&quot;);</script>" target="_blank" data-mce-href="<script>(function(t,e,s,o){var n,c,l;t.SMCX=t.SMCX||[],e.getElementById(o)||(n=e.getElementsByTagName(s),c=n[n.length-1],l=e.createElement(s),l.type=&quot;text/javascript&quot;,l.async=!0,l.id=o,l.src=&quot;https:/widget.surveymonkey.com/collect/website/js/tRaiETqnLgj758hTBazgd2pEuw6LlDDON80YkLLzdEzYOobJsNoF_2FSYIuEeHIIXG.js&quot;,c.parentNode.insertBefore(l,c))})(window,document,&quot;script&quot;,&quot;smcx-sdk&quot;);</script>" title="Poll - Are you Interested in a traditional or a non traditional partner?" rel="noopener" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">Poll - Are you Interested in a traditional or a non traditional partner?</a> I have compiled a list of the top three things a non-traditional person values most in their relationships. These are as follows: Being supportive Being respectful Being stable / Having stabilityBeing supportive is more than just agreeing to everything thrown at you by your partner. Support comes in different forms, sometimes emotional and sometimes financial, but the most powerful support is companionship. It is that feeling of having someone in your corner; someone who understands you and will help you be a better person overall that will make you fall head over heels.<figure id="figure-uwwhd5rpjlzirfj5j" class=""><img id="uwwhd5rpjlzirfj5j" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1334377459/photo/man-and-woman-trail-running-on-the-mountain-together-in-summer-day.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ut4-J_s4xpd5AIV7wCX2CvjRh9FhP2l2Sdj6e8KFtb4=" alt="Man and woman trail running on the mountain together in summer day" title="Man and woman trail running on the mountain together in summer day" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1334377459/photo/man-and-woman-trail-running-on-the-mountain-together-in-summer-day.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ut4-J_s4xpd5AIV7wCX2CvjRh9FhP2l2Sdj6e8KFtb4=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Next in line is respect. Respect is by no means of lesser value than having support and it's no greater than stability. All three of these things are intertwined to make a great relationship. Respect stems from honesty and loyalty. Someone honest and loyal in the low moments will always get overwhelming support. Lastly, stability. Having someone stable in your life can make a huge difference. &nbsp;An intelligent, goal-oriented person who provides a sense of security is always ideal when approaching someone non-traditional. Being intelligent and goal-oriented, a non-traditional person tends to find that very attractive because they see you on equal terms; someone who can hold a conversation and provides more than just their presence. A sense of security means that person needs to know themselves and to know where they are going in life. They need to have an outlined plan as to how they will maintain themselves in the future.<figure id="figure-kpdokqphq8lzirkjra"><img id="kpdokqphq8lzirkjra" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/452668277/photo/african-couple-posing-looking-at-the-camera.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=7ZY594ejAR79TzJn2FElSzdNq7et2_JSg_dwEXzXAN0=" alt="African couple posing, looking at the camera." title="African couple posing, looking at the camera." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/452668277/photo/african-couple-posing-looking-at-the-camera.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=7ZY594ejAR79TzJn2FElSzdNq7et2_JSg_dwEXzXAN0=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>So think about it and be mindful of the persons you decide to approach. Both men and women get turned down for various reasons and it hurts when you don’t understand your target. Ensure you are interested before you try to pique the interest of a non-traditional person. And once you get in, be sure to find that balance because it’s just beginning. As such, remember to be respectful, and offer stability and support.

What are you bringing to the table?

Have you ever just sat down, stared at someone dumbfound and thinking to yourself ‘what the hell’? &nbsp;There are various circumstances that can lead to such a dilemma but the one I want to talk about today is that first night cap or that one night stand and the unwritten rules that go with such activities. Can you imagine the high level of awkwardness one experience in the morning of a one night stand after having a little too much to drink or sense the tension in the room when you are still around at 10 am when both parties agreed to one night of fun. So how do you avoid this awkwardness of staring at someone who wants you to leave as soon as possible; what do you do?Take my advice and learn some of the unwritten rules that I have decided to share with you. 1.Stick to the terms<figure id="figure-f1z2bwi01qlyp025bj"><img id="f1z2bwi01qlyp025bj" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21tqjlhDyJY7JIcJU7wV4tjjnPgwX7oDUsi9orhbQJNpi3zpQRZ3qMcikB70sUu4.jpg" alt="In A Modern Studio, An Asian Woman In A Red Sweater And A Caucasian Woman With Blue Hair, Both Young, Collaborate Over A Camera And Storyboard, Focusing On Creative Film Production And Advertising." title="In A Modern Studio, An Asian Woman In A Red Sweater And A Caucasian Woman With Blue Hair, Both Young, Collaborate Over A Camera And Storyboard, Focusing On Creative Film Production And Advertising." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21tqjlhDyJY7JIcJU7wV4tjjnPgwX7oDUsi9orhbQJNpi3zpQRZ3qMcikB70sUu4.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> Most times one night stands are agreed beforehand, we are doing this just once and then there are times when it &nbsp;wasn’t supposed to happen but you mind was in a different place and it occurred anyway. When you sober up and realize what you’ve done, split! Don’t hang around to explain why we shouldn’t have done this or why we shouldn’t do it again, that will only complicate the already complicated situation. Instead, stick to the terms of the short term contract and forget the night before, if things are to get more serious later on, it will. Try not to force yourself onto someone who is not ready to accept that fate.&nbsp; 2. Be extremely busy If sticky to the terms is turning out to be easier said than done, it's time to pull out plan B. Plan B is simple, you just need to have a early morning plan that was planned last night. Wake up, put on your clothes, there is somewhere you have to be by 7. Even if you heart and soul is screaming for you to stay and cuddle, pack your stuff and prepare to leave. Let it be the person who is hosting who asks you if you have to go, then and only then you can overstay your welcome. Who knows, maybe another round and breakfast later.<figure id="figure-b49yv27fw9lyp07q6d"><img id="b49yv27fw9lyp07q6d" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13fQdhmFKq6qcQuiC6WqBasJxpZX7gTdHkd3Frp8Qhz2k2Z4LjgD6jCTdF2EUvVN.jpg" alt="Group of people sitting at auction" title="Group of people sitting at auction" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13fQdhmFKq6qcQuiC6WqBasJxpZX7gTdHkd3Frp8Qhz2k2Z4LjgD6jCTdF2EUvVN.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;"></figure> 3. Leave nothing behind<figure id="figure-u1c9cb7869lyp0b55a" class=""><img id="u1c9cb7869lyp0b55a" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/22O4TqWQiToqW3xapAmO9XtlSZo3eOdR6GvfQJUiYZYTdd2ZWWSF0GB4PeHqLPFs.jpg" alt="Collection of 3d hands showing gestures. Contemporary art, creative collage. Modern design" title="Collection of 3d hands showing gestures. Contemporary art, creative collage. Modern design" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/22O4TqWQiToqW3xapAmO9XtlSZo3eOdR6GvfQJUiYZYTdd2ZWWSF0GB4PeHqLPFs.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;"></figure> Whether it’s your first rodeo or you had to leave in a rush, try not to leave anything behind; especially important documents that are not easily replaced. Chances are whatever is left behind will be thrown out to avoid that awkward get together. Leaving stuff behind can send the wrong message and all parties would want to avoid that. I know mentioning these unwritten rules has crushed a few toes but it is what it is. You cannot force your way into someone’s life by deciding to stay overtime, that may just lead to the person being annoyed which is totally worse than not getting a call back. Stick to the terms, leave, have something to do and try your best not to leave anything behind. Following these simple outlines may lead to something more than just a call back, just try it!&nbsp;

A Man's World

Sexable vs Wifeable

What are you bringing to the table?

Unwritten Rules